7 Simple Strategies for Surviving a Spouse with Scatterbrain Syndrome
How to Survive Life with a Spouse Who Has ADHD—And Keep Your Sanity (With Humor, Of Course!)
Updated Sept 22.
Living with a spouse who has ADHD is like driving a car with three wheels. It’s a little bumpy, you might get lost, and sometimes you wonder how you even got your license. But hey, who needs all four wheels when you’ve got excitement, right? So buckle up—here’s how you can survive and maybe even laugh along the way, making your trip quite enjoyable!
1. The Honey-Do List (Or Should I Say, Honey-Don't?)
You give them a to-do list, and suddenly, you’re living in a DIY show gone wrong. You ask them to change a lightbulb, and somehow, they end up painting the ceiling.
Strategy: Keep tasks short and sweet. Instead of saying, "Can you clean the garage?", break it down into bite-sized steps. Try, “Just clean the workbench,” and then move to the next task. Trust me, it works better than expecting them to conquer Mount Everest.
2. Attention? You Wish!
Having a conversation? Good luck! With ADHD, they hear the first half of your sentence, and by the time you get to the important part, they’re looking at a bird, thinking about what color the sky is, and wondering if dogs can be left-handed. I told my spouse, “I think we should save more money,” and they said, “You think squirrels ever forget where they bury their nuts?”
Strategy: Pick your moments wisely. Grab their attention during a calm time, not when they’re in the middle of 12 different thoughts. Eye contact helps—if you can catch them! Try setting a specific time to chat about important things, so they know it’s coming. Bonus points if snacks are involved.
3. The Adventures of Lost and Found
In our house, finding things is like a scavenger hunt—except no one’s winning. “Where’s the TV remote?” I ask. “It’s in the refrigerator,” they say, like it’s perfectly normal. It’s like living in a sitcom. One time, we found the car keys inside a shoe. I don’t ask questions anymore. I just take it as a bonus if I find my shoes and the keys.
Strategy: Create “landing zones” for important items. A bowl by the door for keys, a designated spot for the TV remote, and maybe a tray in the fridge for whatever ends up in there. If they know where things should go, you’ve got a fighting chance.
4. Multitasking? More Like Multi-Stalling
People with ADHD have this amazing ability to start five projects at once and finish... none. I walked into the garage last Saturday—tools everywhere, a half-built shelf, and in the middle of it all, my spouse was learning how to play the ukulele. I asked, “What happened to the shelf?” They said, “I’ll finish it right after I master this chord.” Well, the shelf’s still crooked, but now I know what a bad version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” sounds like.
Strategy: Set time limits. Work with your spouse to dedicate a set time for tasks—like 20-minute bursts to work on one project. When the timer goes off, they can switch to the next thing, but at least progress is made! You’ll get that shelf finished... eventually.
5. The Power of Spontaneity
Now, the flip side? Life’s never boring. You want adventure? You’ve got it! I once mentioned we should go on a weekend getaway, and five minutes later, my spouse was packing the car... with everything but the kitchen sink. Wait, no—turns out they packed that, too. You ever take a camping trip with a blender? We did! And hey, at least you can make a smoothie in the middle of the forest.
Strategy: Embrace the adventure, but steer the ship. If they’re all about spontaneous fun, try guiding it. “Love the idea of a trip! How about we plan it together?” That way, you get the fun without ending up in the middle of nowhere with a blender.
6. Patience: It’s a Virtue, and You’re Gonna Need It
Look, living with someone who’s got ADHD means things won’t always make sense. But that’s okay. You just have to laugh. I realized early on that you’re either gonna pull your hair out, or you’re gonna roll with it. I mean, if you can’t find your shoes, again, just put on flip-flops. If you open the pantry and find a hammer in there, well, maybe the hammer was hungry.
If you’ve got patience, you’ll survive. If not, well, it’s time to develop some. It’s easy to get frustrated when they’re distracted but remember: ADHD isn’t intentional chaos. It’s just their brain’s unique wiring.
Strategy: Take deep breaths and laugh when you can. When things get hectic, remind yourself it’s not personal—it’s just the ADHD talking. Learn to pick your battles. Does it really matter that the socks are in the oven? Probably not. Save your energy for the big stuff.
7. Remember, You Married ‘Em for a Reason
All jokes aside, ADHD comes with a lot of creativity, excitement, and yes, some unpredictability. But if you’re married to someone with ADHD, you already know they’re passionate, interesting, and always thinking outside the box—probably because they forgot where they put the box. And let’s face it, in the grand scheme of things, who needs a perfectly organized life when you’ve got love, laughter, and occasionally, your keys in the freezer?
Strategy: Focus on the positives. When the distractions start piling up, remind yourself of the good stuff. Celebrate the wins, no matter how small. They finished one thing on the list? That’s a victory! Keep humor in your back pocket—it’s your best defense.
So, here’s to your spouse: the whirlwind of distraction that keeps life unpredictable, the human version of a ping-pong ball, and the reason you now double-check the pantry for household tools. You’ll survive—just make sure you check the freezer before you leave the house!
ANNOUNCING VIP SUBSCRIPTION
YOU GET:
Subscriber-only posts and full archive access
Private Facebook Group to connect with others and share knowledge, experiences, triumphs, and breakdowns
Weekly Videos just for subscribers
20% off all Dr. Get in Focus Coaching Sevices
10% off Virtual Assistant Services
FREE CONSULTATION WITH DR. JEFF
ONLY 9.99 A MONTH, CANCELABLE AT ANY TIME!
Sign up before my wife finds out how little I am charging and makes me raise the price!